Kids Thrive on Structure and Routines

Routines and rituals help kids feel safe and secure. From the day they're born until they leave home, children benefit from structure and stability.

For babies, routines teach them to trust that their caregivers will respond to their needs. We soothe them when they're upset and feed them when they're hungry. We ensure they're always clean and comfortable. We stick to a regular sleep schedule so they're well rested. We provide lots of affection, one-on-one play and fresh air so their brains and bodies develop properly.

For young children, structure and routines help them gain self-confidence. Plus, families run more smoothly with a morning breakfast ritual, a getting-to-school routine, age-appropriate chores, shared family dinners and regular bedtimes. Research confirms that when children have strong routines at home, they have an easier time in school with both learning and friendships. Kids who feel grounded in their home life can better regulate their emotions and cope with transitions. Growing up with structure also leads to greater resilience, which helps kids bounce back from sad or tough events and become even stronger.

For tweens and teens, solid routines make it easier for them to adjust to the major transition from childhood to adulthood. Sudden changes in hormones along with rapid growth can make things feel rocky. A stable home life can help everything feel smoother and steadier. And while limits on screen time are a must for kids of all ages, tweens and teens are extra vulnerable to the negative effects of social media. Though they may complain about screen-time limits (such as no phones during family meals and sleeping hours) they'll benefit from these and other rules. Ultimately, a stable foundation equips tweens and teens for more responsibilities and greater independence. While our job is to provide a safe 'nest' for our kids, at the same time we're preparing them to fly!

It's also important to note that while routines benefit everyone, they're especially helpful for kids with autism, ADHD and anxiety. These children often need consistent daily schedules and comforting rituals to feel their best.

Parents also benefit from solid routines. Healthy patterns reduce stress levels and ease power struggles among family members.

Of course, family routines evolve as children get older. Schedules get busier, kids develop their own social lives and life is often full of twists. But rather than giving up the structure and routines you've created, adjust them to meet your family's needs. They're too valuable to lose!

Learn more about positive parenting.